Just reminding everyone that NEDA is a great organization and is in support of awareness, promoting recovery, and finding every way to help those with Anorexia, Bulimia, Binge-eating disorder, and EDNOS(Eating disorder not otherwise specified.) Their website is at the link below! :) http://www.nationaleatingdisorders.org/index.php
So I've been on a meal plan for 2 years and can I just say that this week I am 100% back on track since I am always either eating more or less than what I am supposed to be eating. I can feel the difference. I am more present, happier, involved in my life, and awake. So if you're afraid to follow your meal plan(as am I!), then try and have a go at it for one week. No more, no less for starters. See if it helps. I am writing down how its working for me. I also find myself planning better around meals and school/internship related activities in my life. Of course there are friends. I have finally made more friends because I am taking care of myself. Thats what matters. Self-care. I am much happier now that I am taking care of myself even though its very hard to do on a regular basis.
Here is a link to how to make a zine! I like to make them about all sorts of things. Even non-ed recovery things. It can be filled or drawn with photos, maps, goals, comics, lists, etc.
I hope you all are doing great. Hold your head up high and never stop trying. I find it helpful to reach out when there is a time that I'm struggling. If there is no one, it is difficult but also best to be vulnerable and ask to hang out with someone. If not, there is always journaling and blogging about things left. Oh, and I hope you like the song. Thanks for checking out my blog.
Here is a work in progress list of things to do besides ruminating and isolating - Going on a date - Relaxing - Listening to music - Watching a movie - Listening to others - Reading - Hobbies - Spending an evening with friends - Meeting new people - Going out to eat - Remembering the words and deeds of loving people - Having quiet evenings - Collecting old things(vintage shopping too!) - Flying kites - Going camping - Horseback riding - Going to a place of worship - Dancing - Going on a picnic - Meditating - Trying new things - Playing pool, card games, etc. -Talking on the phone - Going to museums - Listening to the radio - Getting a massage - Buying books -Taking gymnastics classes - Sitting in a sidewalk cafe - Becoming active in the community - Going for a drive or a bike ride - journaling -painting or drawing
I know-what a cheesy video I found. But I love this song. Rookiemag posted about it and it reminded me of how badly I tried to fit in during junior high when this movie came out. I was miserable and kept pretending that everything was okay even though it wasn't. I tried so hard to convince myself. I know that some people think that this song it just about a boy. But lets not just jump to that conclusion immediately. Something happens before him. Its this dissatisfaction, hating, and self-hate we are dealing with. It makes me so mad! We need to speak up and be the voices in conversations that are willing to express who we are and that there is much more value in that than solely our appearance and false versions of ourselves. I practice this and the conversation always seems to take a turn away from the gossip and disgust of others and ourselves. If it doesn't work, then that speaks loudly about how rotten those people are anyways.
Moreover I have encountered this at where I work. I work at the Boys and Girls Club of America(a safe place for minority children to have fun, learn, and grow). Some of the little girls are already worried about calories in soda! A few girls excluded one girl because she was "ugly." A boy called two girls "fat" when they were mad at each other and the girls ran away crying. Why? Why must we be so mean? I wish someone would have told me that everything would be okay later. Granted I ended up with anorexia because I took these types of messages(ignored, excluded, ridiculed) to heart, but things are different now. I was always waiting and hoping for later. I often times find myself having children apologize to each other for things like this while I also validate how unfair and not okay it was to those who were ridiculed.
My memories of junior and high school mainly consisted of bullying. I had a group of friends in 6th-8th grade who turned on me and excluded me. I went to daycare with them daily and had to deal with these jerks. I have been reminded of them because I am in the middle of a move and I found a journal entry about these girls who were so mean to me. We made this big dance for a show that we were in and after practicing for weeks, a few days beforehand I was replaced and gossiped about more than I was excluded.
As for high school, I was #2 on my school's "hate list" fb group which I eventually somehow found out about. It was like a virtual burn book. The amount of likes was demoralizing. I found stories and instances with the truth twisted about me. I already was physically and emotionally alone so often, so this made it clear that no one was my true friend at my high school. From time to time, I wonder if anybody remembers that hate group.
This girl speaks of embracing herself, despite the self harm she has inflicted upon herself. I think thats very brave. Read her post if you so please. (she is still fighting)
Here is another article about a female Olympic swimmer who has been criticized by Melbourne Australia's Herald Sun newspaper...(They are comparing her 14 year old body to her current 26 year old body!) But, its amazing how so many people are in her defense about this topic.
BAHH. I have been so busy and overwhelmed with life and recovery. I am going to post something soon forreals. I am going to visit my friend this weekend for a concert, but I do look forward to actually posting something new.
